Wednesday, May 28, 2014


*Beware. Lots of rambles* 

They always told me that im gonna treasure my weekends a lot more as I grow older.
Not that i didnt treasure my weekends when I was younger, but perhaps not that much because growing up, my weekends were always filled with tuition, badminton trainings and i cant even remember when I actually had time to relax on a weekend.

The thing about me is: Im someone who treasure my time alot. Like a lot.
I think people who are involved in my life can even call me obsessed. Now you're probably reading this and going...
"eh? obsessed with time?"

Yes. I am obsessed with time and if theres anything that was always constantly on my wish-list, it wouldnt be another Celine bag, or that pair of Louboutins. But more time. 
I wish for a stronger body that allows me to stay awake for the whole 24 hours so that I can achieve more in a day.
Or simply, more than merely 24 hours in a day.

I now know how important and precious my weekends are. 
They really are sooooo precious because i can finally have more than 4 hours of free time. 
And if you're a model/blogger/cam-whore like I am, you will know how precious natural sunlight is, esp when you have so many advertorials or blogging assignments that are piling up.
The only time I get to clear them are the weekends because I simply have no time on weekdays...... 

Last weekend I encountered a really irresponsible online owner who really just ruined my day.
And perhaps a little faith and hope in online store owners. 
I've met with really nasty ones that will pay me by the MINUTE (yes minute), and really calculative ones that over-booked me and refused to pay me the full amount when I actually finish the shoot earlier than expected because I wanted to save time for them. 
But irresponsible owners that stood up on the bloggers they engaged for an ad and didn't even give any reason for doing so? My first.
Anyhow... im not going to go into details nor reveal anything even though I have not heard much from that store and they have yet paid me.
I'll just take it as a lesson learnt and never be so foolish again. Sigh. 

Really sorry for this rambling blog post guys, but it feels like I haven't penned down my thoughts in this space for the longest time.
Please dont mind me. 
For those of you who've stayed on and read till this point, thank you very much.

Honestly things haven't been going well in my life. My temper is crazy, im burning out. Bad things keep happening and nothing really goes as planned.
I want to be as happy again, and I need my energy and health back. 

Gotta learn to toughen up and get all my shit together before everyone walks out on me. I wouldnt have anyone but myself to blame then.

Anyhow, I have been updating my Dayre religiously over the past few weeks or so. Been doing my best to write a little each day. Haha! 
I guess its the only place you guys can see some of my truest emotions because... ive only got slightly more than 1k followers. :D

Sometimes it sucks being a blogger because I feel like I get judged for everything I say and theres this underlying expectation that every blogger needs to meet. 
Everyone expect bloggers' lives to perfect, when they really aren't. Nobody's life is. 

But of course, with all the glitz and glamour, comes the ugly side as well. So many people get sucked into this whole whirlpool called "fame" and they never walk out it again.
They start to lose themselves, become people they are not. They change.

Well.. its just a computer screen right? 
Who cant hide behind it and write about ourselves to make us look like angels? 
Everyone can do that

Hahaha. Guess its really important to stay rooted.


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