Monday, August 19, 2013

It's 00:24 now and I should prolly head to bed soon.
It's gonna be the first time i'm turning in so early in such a long time, I cant even remember when.
I cant even remember how life was like before Summer hols started, and i don't really want to because that's when I will start feeling bad about myself.
My grades, my motivation, my discipline and energy. I was never like that. I never dreaded school so much.
Perhaps because I always had a reason for doing badly in school. Training always took up most of my time, and I could get away with that excuse. But I know that won't do now, it's time to buck up.
I hope its not too late. And I hope i'm strong-willed enough to face my fears.

Silly, isn't it? Coming from someone who has been through school for the past 13 years of her life.

So many things happened within the past 4 months, flew to Philippines on a 3 weeks trip, became Matt's official girlfriend, went to bangkok again, went to China with my family, grew so much in modelling, and I learnt so much too. And these are only a few to mention.
I've been so used to this life now that I'm struck with fear as more uncertainties and insecurities start to hit me.
Will I be used to having these priorities replaced by school work? What will happen on my next break, will I be able to get my (this) life back?

Staring at the clock now, looking at how those minutes slipped by.
"I have less time for bed now, and less time to recuperate, less time to replenish my energy, less energy for school tomorrow. "

Sigh, summer is over.
It was 24 minutes long gone since I started this post. It's time to wake up.
Goodnight world. Goodbye summer.

I'll see you next year


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