Good Friday

Friday, March 29, 2013

Happy Good Friday everyone!
I'm on the bus to a shoot while writing this , yes I know it's so early. It's too early in fact. (I woke up at 6 to do my make up)

All my life, I've been treated like a princess. And no, I'm not referring to my parents. But generally in life, with friends, coaches, boys, adults, even by random waiters and waitresses sometimes.
My parents were the last to pamper me. Being the middle child that I am, I wouldn't deny that I have the "middle child syndrome" and I guess it's pretty obvious for those that know me personally.
I do the housework most, I wash the dishes, I run errands at home etc. even when I had a maid at home, I was made to learn to be independent. My sisters too, were required to carry out the chores but I always felt that I had to do them most.
They never got into trouble for not doing, while I always do. They'll come home to smiles and delighted faces while I only come home to a "why so late?" "Don't treat this house like a hotel".
Don't get me wrong, I am happy and I know I am very blessed to come from a family who is, well, relatively "okay". Meaning I don't have to worry about not having enough to eat, to clothe, to have a roof over my head, neither do I have to worry about my college fees for the next 4 years. And I'm so grateful to my parents who have worked so hard to provide me with all these.
But well, I never felt that I really fit in. All these years, I try. I prioritize my time, though I am really really busy having to juggle so much at once. I work everything I have around the "family dinner" days that I set for myself (tue, thu, sun). I set a curfew for myself (1130pm) everyday, and I keep to it almost all the time. I try, and I try, very hard in fact.
My friends will all go "huh why are you so dumb to set a curfew for yourself?" Well. Because I try, and I value family ties more than I will ever show. I pray every day for them to be happy, safe and healthy. And for them to accept me, for who I am. Trust is the most important factor in any relationship, even when it comes to family. The reason why I want to keep to this promise I made to myself, and to my parents.
I don't doubt that they do love me, of course, every parent will love their child and it is a kind of love that can never be described and replaced.
Im still the middle child and will always be the one having to fight for her parent's attention. But I will keep trying anyhow.

On the other hand, I mentioned that all my life I've been treated like a princess by everyone else around me. Yes I can usually achieve what I want if I put in the effort. Sometimes, okay maybe not with much effort in fact. And I'm so lucky to be where I am today and I'm extremely thankful to those that stuck by me throughout.
I don't really know what sparked me off to write this blog post hahaha. Was just reflecting upon the past few months of my life and it was so overwhelming.
Just wanna thank each and everyone of you who have stuck by me through the darkest times. Especially my best friend whom I know would do anything and everything just to see me happy. My buddies who were willing to sacrifice time for me to occupy my thoughts. Others who would text me now and then, send me quotes from tumblr to remind me to stay strong etc.
More importantly, matthias , who was always there for me as a friend . from Listening to all my bullshit and whiney stories. To supporting me in every aspect, be it in my studies, shoots, or whatsoever. It's not easy to find a guy that will want to sit through your shoots for several hours every week and be there to carry your shoes and clothes whenever you're tired. I guess that's when I found myself becoming more and more dependent on someone like him.
Hahaha thank god for you mattyhaha, if you're reading this 😍

Anyhow, I just want to extend a huge thank you to all you readers out there too, for listening to my rants hahaha, virtually. And I do read all those comments and form spring questions! Really really appreciate each and everyone of you :)
I'm a much happier person now and though school kills me quite badly sometimes, life is much more fulfilling to me.


Xo, mongabong

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